


The Children Know Best

by ohHOLYmoves



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Minor Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 09:54:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6370207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohHOLYmoves/pseuds/ohHOLYmoves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Lexa is coming?”</p><p>Clarke furrowed her brows but nodded in confirmation, “She is your nanny baby. It’s her job to look after you.” </p><p>Or </p><p>Lexa has been working for the well-to-do artist Clarke Griffin as her son's nanny for seven years. And for seven years they've been in love with one another but neither are willing to confront the truth. Until AJ decides to give them both a shove.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“AJ, what’s the matter with you?” Clarke asked softly through the door to her son’s bedroom. Her fingertips pressed against the large yellow ‘DO NOT ENTER’ sign, twitching in her desperation to push the door open. She wouldn't though. She would never invade his personal space without his expressed permission first. Still she longed to when she only had ten minutes before her date got here and Lexa was late. They had agreed that she live in one of the smaller houses located on the property so she could retain a bit of her independence but Clarke would soon have to change that if she was going to be late like this. The time crunch made her feel desperate to solve whatever had put her son into such a mood that he refused to wish her well or even say goodbye.

“Go away Mama. I don't wanna talk to you.” His muffled voice sounded sharp and harsh.

“Aden Jake Griffin, you _do not_ use that tone with me. Now open this door and talk to me!” Clarke’s fingers drifted to the twirled metal door handle, stopping just before she turned it over and forced her way inside.

“Just go already!” This time his sweet voice sounded choked and watery. Clarke’s forehead pinched with concern.

“AJ, baby…what’s the matter? Do you want me to stay home? I can reschedule with Finn and send Lexa home—” She startled and stumbled a few steps back in her heels when the door in front of her suddenly whipped open. Aden blinked up at her with his big blue eyes, frowning deeply, and shook his head. He was wearing the huge wool sweater with an asymmetrical lapel and hand sewn wooden buttons that Lexa had made for him when he turned eight this year. The sleeves were long and overlapped his fingers and the hem fell to his knees and one side fell off his shoulder. For a while now he had begun dressing in a slightly effeminate way but Clarke was not concerned or upset about this like her mother was. 'He's already so small for his age. If you encourage him to dress this way people will assume things.' Abby had commented while she sipped her drink and watched Aden play in the yard. Twice she had brought it up and twice Clarke had shut Abby down with fire in her eyes and a sting to her words. 

“Lexa is coming?”

Clarke furrowed her brows but nodded in confirmation, “She is your nanny baby. It’s her job to look after you.”

AJ twisted and tugged at the sleeves of his sweater, head twisting to look over the banister at the glass doors downstairs. The large foyer below was sans Lexa still (much to Clarke’s agitation) but there was still an excitement in his eyes.

“Okay.” He went to walk down the spiraling stairs but Clarke hooked a finger in the lapel of his sweater and held him in place.

“Hold it. I want to know what this tantrum was all about.” She pursed her lips to appear upset but her fingers still were running soothing patterns against his scalp and brushing the shaved sides of his head. Unconsciously he leaned into her caress, adoring the attention the way only a child could. He shrugged and lowered his gaze to the tips of her black Jimmy Choo heels nearly touching his bare toes.

“I hate when you go on our free days. Especially when it’s so you so you can see _him_."

His honesty gutted her. She sucked in a sharp breath that she hoped wasn't so loud that he could hear it. Sharp pain needled at her heart. She opened her mouth to give him comfort, to spew promises, to tell him every word for love she knew but she couldn't seem to piece it together. The truth was her son had taken her off guard. He was a precious and gentle soul that loved freely and in a big way. Never had she known him to harbor ill will towards anyone for any reason. Yet the loathing in his bitter voice was unmistakable.

“Baby,” She spoke softly, tilting his chin up with the tip of her finger so he had to look into her eyes, “I thought you liked Finn.”

AJ shrugged but didn't answer verbally. Clarke parted her lips to ask another question but was cut off by the ringing of the doorbell. Not Lexa—Lexa always knocked—so it had to be Finn. She felt AJ recoil and tense, eyes darting to the door below. Finn never waited for Clarke to answer and was opening the door to let himself in. His long floppy hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail that just barely brushed the lapel of his white tuxedo. He looked around the foyer before he noticed them on the banister and lifted his hand in a greeting, teeth peeking between his lips in a small smile. AJ glared at him.

“There you are babe! I came a little early, thought we could have a drink before we left. To warm up for the party.” Finn called upstairs. AJ wrinkled his nose and shook his head at the distasteful way he checked out his mom in her form fitting dress. Clarke pursed her lips.

“Um,” She glanced over her shoulder at her boyfriend, “I'll be down in a second Finn. Lexa isn't here yet so I'm just going to sit with him until she gets here.”

Finn tore his eyes off Clarke’s tight backside to take notice of the young boy near her. His smile grew tight but he lifted his hand to wave again. Finn had always been awkward with her son since the first day she brought him home for them to meet. AJ use to get along with him--they were cordial at least--until tonight. She made a mental note to get to the bottom of this later when she had time to sit with him and talk it out.

“Oh. Hey there little guy.”

AJ’s eyes thinned to slits, “I have a name.”

“Hey, okay, enough. What’s with you?” Clarke poked at his shoulder and gestured to his bedroom. He huffed and stomped off but not before throwing another nasty glare towards Finn over his shoulder. She watched him go and made to follow only to pause when she heard the hard rap of Lexa’s knuckles against glass. A breezy feeling lifted the stress of the night that had been like a vice round her tender insides the second she knew Lexa had come. She whirled around to go answer the door for Lexa who never entered until given permission. Even though she had a key that she believed was permission enough. Before she could reach the door Finn had taken it upon himself to tug the frosted glass door open and let Lexa in himself. A small surge of irritation burned at her but she squashed quick as she could.

“Thank you.” Lexa muttered as she stepped over the threshold, leery gaze fixed on Finn’s tight lipped smile. A strange look passed between the two that Clarke was unsure about. Why was everyone acting so strangely tonight?

“Hey Lex. I'm so glad you made it.” She stepped forward and enveloped her nanny in a tight hug. Her nose pressed into the soft hollow between Lexa’s shoulder and throat, fingers dipping into the dimples in her lower back. Lexa lifted a single hand to the space between her shoulder blades and pressed so lightly, so softly. Her heart beneath Lexa's palm jumped as if it were reaching to twist between the long fingers her nanny had pressed against her. Subtly she breathed in the warm smell of cinnamon and birch bark that somehow always seem to cling to Lexa. 

“I apologize for my tardiness Clarke. My sister is sick and she asked me to pick up my niece from school for her and they live on the other side of town. I promise that it won't happen again.” She smoothed a small line down her spine before separating them. Clarke moved away with a smile and a head nearly as light as her heart. She drank in the deep green ringing Lexa’s irises and how they seemed infinitely brighter thanks to jade long sleeve shirt she wore. Her jeans were mud stained in the knees and her boots were tracking mud over her entry floor but she didn't mind. The maids would but she didn't mind. Lexa was here and she was making Clarke feel light again in the way she only ever seemed to feel around Lexa.

“That’s alright,” all her previous irritation melted away once Lexa gave her one of those small, rare smiles of hers, “it’s not a big deal.”

She felt a hand scrape over her hips before she was pulled tight against Finn’s side. She gave him a questioning look over the possessive display but he was not paying her any mind. He was instead giving Lexa a rather haughty look. That inspired another brief flash of irritation that, this time, she struggled to swallow fully.

“Clarke doesn't pay you the kind of money she does to be late. Do you think that it’s professional to show up late to work because of personal errands?”

Clarke saw the play of muscle cording Lexa’s fine throat ripple when she grit her teeth and shook her head, “No sir. Of course not.”

Finn sniffed and jutted his chin out, “Don't let it happen again. Or maybe you could be the nanny for your sister’s kid instead of Clarke’s.”

Instant anger flared up inside Clarke, burning almost as hot as when her mother mentioned how she should raise her son. Not so gently she gripped Finn’s hand on her hip and threw it away. He startled, turning a surprised look on her. Without taking her eyes off Finn she said, “Lexa, please go see to AJ. He’s in some kind of mood so if you could coax him into coming downstairs to say bye, I'd be grateful.”

“Of course Clarke.”

She watched Lexa from the corner of her eyes and only when she could no longer see the mane of brunette hair mixed with braids did she dare to bleed her anger. She sneered at Finn and strutted away, headed towards her den below the left staircase. Inside there was a decanter full of high priced liquor begging to line the insides of her throat. Hopefully it would burn away the sick taste in her mouth.

“That was strike two Finn.”

Finn’s eyes bugged from their sockets. Behind her she could hear his heavy footfalls chasing after her. Part of her wished they were headed in the opposite direction, towards the door. Away from her.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me Clarke. She’s just a fucking nanny. You're being ridiculous and unfair.”

“No!” Clarke hissed, eyes flinty and cold, “I'm not. Lexa has been with me since Aden turned a year old. She may be my employee but she is also my best friend and a cherished member of this family. You do not get to talk to her like that.”

Despite her mounting rage Clarke couldn't turn her glare on Finn’s sweet face even if she wanted to. That had always been her problem with him. She’d fallen so hard for his charming ways in the beginning that she overlooked a lot of his faults. It was not until recently that she discovered his major fault; dishonesty. Selfishness and the cruel inability to see how his actions hurt others followed. These were made clear to her the day she found Finn rutting into one of her maids in her fucking kitchen of all places. A place her son could have easily walked into instead of her.

And that was the other thing. The raw truth was that she had been more upset that his cheating could have exposed her baby boy to things he wasn't ready for than the actual betrayal. In the days since she had been trying to figure why exactly that was, aside from her obvious protectiveness as his mother. Each time green eyes, long fingers, and soft brown hair intricately braided flashed through her mind and that scared her most of all.

She sighed deeply and uncorked the crystal decanter to pour herself a drink. The first finger of smooth whiskey was swallowed in one gulp. The second too. The third remained in the glass as she sunk into the plush leather lounge chair beside the open fire place. She draped her arms over the arm rests and crossed her legs daintily, dark eyes set on Finn overtop her tumbler. His eyes fell from hers to the ample display of cleavage her dress allowed then down to her creamy thighs showing thanks to the couple inches her dress slipped up once she sat. Another irritated sigh slipped from her lips.

“Finn—for fucks sake—can you for once keep it in your pants long enough to hold an adult conversation? Please.”

He snapped out of his lustful haze to frown at her like a pitiful puppy and step closer, “Why are you being like this? I thought you were cool with the whole thing.”

She clenched her jaw but remained outwardly unfazed, “The way you were treating Lexa has nothing to do with _that_.”

He scoffed and moved to pour himself a drink. She watched him carefully and tried to see all the things in him she use to. Since the cheating incident things hadn't quite been the same. They fought fiercely and Clarke ignored him for some time before taking him back and deciding to work through it. Clarke tried not to ignore him anymore but they still fought fiercely and could spend little time together without going at one another. Tonight was suppose to be a good one, one that would heal them. At least that is what he promised when he begged and finally convinced her to come. It was his parents birthday and they were richer than the oil in the mines they drilled from for crude gold. Yet here she sat, disgusted with him all over again and honestly considering not going. Not even bothering anymore. Three strikes, that's what she reminded herself. He had three strikes and then they were done. That would be that.

(Constantly she was reprimanding herself for wishing for that third strike more and more frequently.)

“I'm getting so tired of Lexa being the reason you get pissed at me.”

“What is that suppose to mean, Finn?” She seethed, voice low and sharp. Her fingers tightened around her tumbler unconsciously.

“I mean, I can barely look at her and you are down my throat about something. What did I get my first strike for huh? Talking to her Clarke. I talked to her.”

“Actually Finn, you asked her what schools she's gone to and what car she drives so that you could tell her what schools _you_ went to and what kind of cars _you_ own. All so you could rub how much money you have in her face. You were trying to hurt her by making her feel inadequate. And I will never be okay with that. _Never_. Unlike you I didn't grow up this way, with pockets full of cash. I know how shitty it can be to have someone like you do that."

He scoffed into his drink with a disgusted shake of his head. For some reason that riled her up even more. She sunk her manicured nails into the leather of her chair, glaring so hard at him he would melt were the fire in her eyes a physical one.

“ _What Finn_.” She spit out, venom coating her words.

“Nothing. Just,” He spun and walked towards her with a hand shoved in his pocket and his drink in the other, sloshing it around the glass, “you got pissed at me for banging another chick when all you do all day is sit in this big, fancy house of yours and pine away for your nanny. Talk to me like I'm a piece of shit when you'd fuck her in a goddamn _heartbeat_.”

She sputtered. Her jaw was working but no words were coming out. She curled in on herself inside her comfortable chair. In a flash all the red hot anger evaporated and she just felt small and stupid. Because he was right. Clarke watched Lexa with her son and felt her heart lurch, felt her lungs constrict, felt love bleed through her. Sometimes she felt so much for Lexa that she had to walk away because it was so overwhelming. Had Lexa not been with Costia years ago when Aden had just been a toddler then Clarke would have pursued Lexa without hesitation. Except Costia had been good and sweet and, more importantly, the light of Lexa’s life. Clarke knew she could not compare and moved on to Finn who came along closely after that. She fell face first into her relationship with him, high on being allowed to actually feel something freely and touch her desire. A year or more into her relationship with Finn Lexa lost her Costia to another and Clarke was to deep in with Finn to pursue Lexa again. But he was right, it hadn't gone away and she did long for Lexa daily.

Sighing, she set her glass on the side table near her chair and rose from her seat. Slowly she advanced to give him a light, placating kiss to his cheek.

“You're right. I'm sorry.” She loathed the pleased, victorious look he gave her. As if he had won something here. His hand snaked around her waist again and pulled their hips together.

“I accept your apology. And I'm sorry we had this silly little spat,” He nosed her jaw and she reluctantly tilted it up for his mouth to touch her throat, “how about you _show_ me how sorry you are babe?”

Disgust clawed at her belly, slithering up her throat and soiling her tongue. She glared and gave his chest a hard shove away from her. Before he could form any sort of a retort to that a throat cleared and the couple turned to find Lexa in the doorway. AJ standing in front of her, leaning back slightly into her protective warmth and the hands she had on his shoulders. Just the sight of her son was enough to make Clarke feel weightless again, floating happy and warm towards him.

“Hey baby,” She reached out to brush the back of her knuckles across his cheekbones, smiling fondly at him, “Did you come to say bye?”

His bright and curious eyes cut to Finn fixing the wrinkles in his tux then back to his mother's face. Worry pinched his features and he reached for her, twisting his fingers into those of his mother’s.

“Are you still going?”

She didn't want to but the guilt Finn had imparted on her still clung heavily to her bones, “Mhm. You gonna be good for Lexa?”

“AJ is never bad for me Clarke. Truly, he’s a saint of Saints. Like his mother I think.” Lexa spoke softly, tapping her long, slender finger against AJ’s chest. He leaned his head back against her lower abdomen and smiled up at her, dimples on full display. In return Lexa smiled down at him, green eyes twinkling beautifully. This picture made the artist’s soul residing in Clarke desperate for some medium to save this forever. Already there were to many sketches and watercolor paintings in this room and her bedroom of images just like this one.

The moment was ruined for her when Finn sauntered up to wrap his oppressive and possessive arm around her shoulders. Her heart ached to watch her son clam up in his presence and the joy in Lexa’s eyes wilt.

“Try to stick out of trouble bud. No parties and leave the ladies out of this.” Finn reached forward to knock his fist against the center of AJ’s chest. A jovial, manly type of hit that AJ shied away from, sinking into Lexa behind him. Lexa’s fierce loyalty to the boy showed in the way she immediately moved her arms around him, hugging him tightly against her front.

“He doesn't like to be hit. Please do not touch him this way Finn.”

“It was just a tap. It’s a guy thing, you wouldn't get it. Right bud?” Finn asked, reaching out to give AJ’s shoulder another hit. Lexa smacked his hand away—lightly, mind—while she pulled AJ round the hip furthest from Finn.

“He doesn't like it Finn.” Clarke watched the blatant confusion with the shame-caused-rage color his face and backlight the brown of Finn’s eyes. Before he could act on it Clarke gave his cheek a kiss and pressed her fingers into his shoulder, prompting him to leave.

“Go start the car. I'll be there soon.” He didn't question her or argue, simply nodding and skirting around Lexa to leave the room and cool off. Once he was gone she returned her full attention to her son who was clinging to his nanny, blue eyes looking up at Clarke in that way that made Clarke’s heart melt.

“I’m sorry for that AJ. Sometimes he forgets that not everyone has his sense of humor.” She stepped into Lexa’s personal space so she could touch him—ever since he was born, she had to feel him—on his soft chin.

“I don't like him Mama. He makes you sad. Your eyes don't dance anymore,” He looked up at Lexa who was trying to pretend she wasn’t standing there listening in on their conversation, “Not since you danced with Miss Lexa on your birthday.”

Lexa’s eyes widened slightly but other than that she still pretended she hadn't heard anything. Clarke sucked in a breath. Her eyes lifted to catch Lexa’s gaze with her heart thundering in her chest. Lexa softened before her eyes and her lips ticked up slightly. They were both recalling the moment the boy was referring to. It was in this very room over a month ago. Finn was away at some conference for his father’s company he was forced to attend so Clarke was left alone. She planned to drink the loneliness away but Lexa refused to let her. She turned music on—the soft old kind that Clarke secretly adored. Etta James crooned in the background when Lexa pulled her from her seat and into her arms. The first dance was slow but became quick and full of laughter when Dean Martin began to sing something upbeat and fun. Clarke swayed happily in Lexa’s arms, tripping over her own toes and giggling madly when Lexa would catch her and swing her around again. Neither of them had been aware that the little boy had been witness to their moment for he was suppose to be in bed by then. Clarke was a bit embarrassed that her son had seen her tripping around tipsy on liquor and high off Lexa like that.

She crouched down and held out her arms that he immediately filled without a hesitant second. His thin arms wrapped tightly around her neck and he pressed under her jaw to reach his spot above her heart. Since he was young that was where he had always been most at ease, comforted by the consonant _thump-thump thump-thump_ of his mother’s heart beat against his ear. She hummed contently and reached up to cradle the back of his head tenderly, pressing soft, loving kisses against his downy hair.

“I appreciate your concern for me baby but…” But what? She didn't know how to finish that. Without meaning to she felt herself looking up at Lexa for help, for answers. Lexa pursed her lips but, as always, came to Clarke’s rescue.

“But your mother loves Finn, Little One.” There was an undertone of…something to Lexa’s soft voice. Clarke couldn't tell what it was but she could feel the pull in her soul longing for the truth behind it. Aden pulled away from his mother to look up at his nanny and shake his head. Lexa lifted her brow at him and they shared a silent communication that Clarke always marveled at. Aside from herself Clarke knew there was no one her baby got along with as well as Lexa. Lexa gave a very subtle shake of her head that made Aden huff in irritation.

“I think it's stupid. You love Lexa and she—”

Lexa cleared her throat loudly, interrupting the boy mid sentence. He bit into his bottom lip, blinking, before his eyes drew wider. He too cleared his throat and, without preamble, rushed forward to press a sloppy kiss against his mother’s brow and dart past his nanny’s long legs. Both woman watched him go in amused confusion.

“He is acting so strange tonight. He locked himself in his room for a good half hour before you got here. Yelled at me to go away and everything. Said he didn't want to talk to me.” Clarke mumbled. Lexa breathed out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle.

“I will talk to him and see if I can get to the bottom of this.”

Clarke reached between them to take Lexa’s hand and give it a light squeeze, “Thank you.” She said sincerely. Lexa gave her another one of those rare smiles when she squeezed back.

“I should go. Finn is in a mood tonight and it's putting me in a mood. Um..” She tilted her head back and forth as she contemplated her next request. Would it be to forward? Lexa read her face and tightened her grip on Clarke’s fingers, just slightly.

“What is it?”

“Do you mind staying up? I'd like some company when I get home. It’s been a hard week and we’ve rarely seen one another. I'd like to catch up.”

Lexa’s jaw twitched in that telling way and immediately Clarke regretted asking but it was to late to take it back. She began to pull her hand back but Lexa wouldn't let her, instead stepping forward with the motion so their fingers remained linked.

“You won't be spending the night with Finn?”

Clarke’s brows lowered over her stormy eyes and she shook her head, “Finn and I haven't…we don't…no. I will be coming home tonight.”

Lexa dipped her chin in a shallow nod, “Very well. I will wait up for you Miss Griffin.”

A warm, happy flutter of wings brushed the insides of her belly. She tried desperately to ignore it. Still a large smile pulled her lips up and she had to battle it so she could press a grateful kiss to Lexa’s cheek, leaving a blood stain behind in the shape of her lips.

“Thank you Lexa. And,” Mirth brightened the blue of her eyes and she pinched Lexa’s hip through her shirt, “I've told you not to call me that Miss Woods.”

A low rumble of a laugh rattled up Lexa’s throat, soft as her speaking voice but just as enchanting. Clarke had to move away from the noise—from the person making the noise—else wise she feared she'd fall into the trap of it. Soft footfalls followed at her heels into the foyer where AJ sat waiting on a chaise lounge kicking his legs back and forth. He looked bored and a little bit anxious. Until he spotted his mother that is and burst to his feet with a great smile and near tackled his mother at the hips. Lexa was quick to press a stabilizing hand against her lower back and step closer just in case she needed to catch Clarke and the boy before they hit the marble floor. Clarke tottered in her heels but remained upright thanks to Lexa saving her quickly.

“Whoa, easy there. I won't be gone for long baby.” She chuckled through her words. AJ smiled up at her brightly, dimples puckering his sweet little cheeks. A stutter in Clarke’s heart would have frightened her mother were she hooked up to a machine. Her fingers traced through the fluffy hair atop his head and she leaned down to press a lipstick kiss against his forehead.

“Can I stay up past bed time? I wanna be awake when you come home.”

“I'll tell you what,” She tapped his nose with her short finger making him huff and shake her finger off, “if you can manage to stay awake that long, you can stay up.”

Lexa’s warm laugh hit her shoulder like a rumbling wave, “He will be out by 10.”

Clarke glanced over her shoulder with a smile, “Ten dollars says 9:30.”

“You're on.” The fingers at her lower back slid slowly to her hip and gave it a light squeeze. Clarke pointedly ignored the chills that rolled up her spine.

“I can do it,” AJ pouted, eyes glancing between the two adults in front of him, “I can!”

“Of course you can baby. I'll see you when I get home okay?” She took his face between her hands and pressed a flurry of kisses against his forehead, cheeks, and nose. Little red bits of lipstick left behind made him look like he’d been assaulted by a cartoon character.

“Okay gross-lady,” He tore away and rubbed his sleeve against the lip stains on his cheeks, “Loves.”

“Love you too baby,” She glanced over at Lexa and blew a playful kiss, “And I love you too sugar-dumpling.”

Lexa’s eyes widened and she let go of Clarke’s hip as if it were molten steel. Clarke laughed at her expense, to endeared by the way Lexa scrambled and stuttered and broke whenever Clarke spoke to her this way. She cleared her throat awkwardly and motioned for AJ to come to her.

“I should make dinner. So…have a nice evening Clarke. I will see you when you get home.”

“Can't wait.” And truly she couldn't. She gifted herself one last sight of her son and her nanny before turning and striding through the door to join Finn in his Aston Martin.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Lexa concentrated hard on keeping the omelette she was preparing in the pan. Her mind was a sloppy mess but the least she could do was keep Clarke’s expensive table top stove clean.

She glanced at the clock on the wall for the time. 8:40. Clarke still wasn't awake which was odd but understandable. Since the day she’d begun working for Clarke she’d never known the blonde not to wake up before eight. Last night Lexa had managed to stay up until two in the morning before she passed out on the couch. The time on the digital clock on the wall told her it near five in the morning when she felt Clarke drop a blanket over her shivering body. She’d kept her eyes closed during the exchange on the off chance Clarke had spent the night with Finn and wanted to discuss their intimacies with her. Clarke had hovered behind the couch for a moment or so and only left after she’d dragged a fingertip across her sculpted eyebrows and whispered goodnight.

“Miss Lexa? Can you not put onions in it? I hate onions.”

“What are the rules about that word Aden?” Lexa mumbled distractedly.

Aden sighed loudly, “’Hate is a bad word’ and I ‘shouldn't use it’. Instead I should say ‘I don't like’. But I _do_ hate onions.”

That brought a smile to her face. No matter the circumstances this little blessing could always drag her from the darkest depths of her mind to a happy place again. Lexa would forever be grateful for the day she’d been at the grocery store that was—to be honest—a little to high end for her budget all those years ago. A stroller had rolled out of an isle and was bound to run into a display of soup cans had Lexa not rushed forward to stop it. Clarke, harried and wide eyed, had been at a near sprint to catch the stroller herself and had gifted Lexa with a thousands praises for saving her son. Somehow Lexa had left that supermarket with a job that would pay triple what she earned at that time and had not looked back since. Occasionally Lexa considered actually using her law degree she toiled many, many years to earn but the truth was she couldn't bring herself to part with the Griffin family. If she left she knew that she would worry every day about AJ. Was he taking his vitamins? Did Clarke in fact decided to enroll him in a public school again? How had it had gone? What did he look like now, after a few years away?

Furthermore she knew she’d worry about Clarke herself too. Though it was not part of her job Lexa often found herself caring for the blonde when she forgot herself. Sometimes Clarke would hole herself up in her studio and Lexa would bring her food or remind her to shower. Who would do this were she to leave? Finn? That was unlikely.

She sighed. Why’d she have to always rotate back to him? She clenched her jaw and gripped the pan tight enough for her knuckles to color white. She loathed the man that Clarke loved. He was truly the most disgusting person she’d met in all her years. The staff had buzzed for months on the juicy bit of gossip that Mister Collins had sex with one of the new girls Clarke had hired. They seemed delighted that Clarke had found out but still kept him around, as if it were a good thing. They were _amused_ that this one girl was the only one Clarke knew about. Lexa disliked all of them. Finn was a piece of garbage and Clarke most definitely deserves better.

Not to mention how poorly he treated Lexa when Clarke was not around. He seemed to deduce the true nature of Lexa’s admiration for her boss and made it very clear she was not to act of these feelings. He was territorial and jealous and Lexa could hardly stand to be around him. Why someone as pure and lovely as Clarke remained with him, she would never know.

“Miss Lexa?” Lexa came back to herself with a little shake of her head. She glanced over her shoulder at the boy sitting primly on a stool and resting his elbows atop the marble island meant for cooking prep. Often she allowed him to eat here instead of a the large dinning table just around the corner of the kitchen. She knew that he enjoyed how the sun light came through the floor to ceiling windows in here and the more personal air of sitting within arms length of his nanny. His hair was a mess and his eyes were sleepy as she’d only gotten him up a few minutes ago. She’d not even dressed him yet, allowing him downstairs in his red dragon onesie. Normally they went through a routine of showering and dressing before breakfast but today Lexa was a mess (she’d woken late and been late—again) but Aden didn't mind. He liked sleeping in.

“Of course Little One. No onions. How about instead, this?” She dipped her fingers into a bowl to pinch some shredded cheese for him to see. He nodded eagerly with a sunny smile.

“And those! Those!” He pointed at another bowl full of diced peppers. She crooked a finger at him to come near. In his haste to reach her he kicked his stool into the counter and nearly knocked it over. A loud bang echoed through the otherwise silent kitchen and he skidded to a halt, torn between rushing back to fix his stool and continue towards Lexa. She laughed bright and happily, it's cheery noise bouncing off the walls.

“Come, come Little One. Forget it.” She extended her hand to him and wiggled her fingers. His slid over them quickly and grasped tightly, giving a slight tug to indicate he wished to be lifted. Gently she slid her hands beneath his shoulders and lifted him easily onto the counter beside the stove. Grinning, he began grabbing fistfuls of ingredients and throwing them onto the two different omelets she had cooking in separate pans. When he grabbed a fistful of onions and attempted to throw them onto the left one she had to still his hand wth a chuckle.

“Your mother doesn't like onions either AJ.”

“Is that one for Mama?” He questioned after replacing the onions in the bowl. She nodded thoughtfully and carefully picked out the mushrooms he had thrown into Clarke’s breakfast. The blonde didn't mind them but Lexa knew she wasn't a large fan of them either. Once mushroom free she folded it over and flipped it to finish cooking throughly.

“Why isn't she up yet? She usually eats breakfast with us,” Lexa watched him fiddle with the sleeves of his pajamas, “Do you think she is with _him_ still? She promised to come home last night.”

“She is home Little One. I will go check on her once you get into the shower after breakfast. Miss Reyes will be here soon for your lessons and your mother has asked Miss Blake to come today as well. So after lessons with Miss Reyes you will be outside for a few hours. I believe Miss Blake would like to go for a run.”

AJ groaned loudly and slumped against the cupboards behind him. Octavia had been hired after Aden was taken out of private school to be his physical trainer to replace the gym classes he was missing. Likewise Raven was hired to be his new teacher who came four days a week alongside Octavia’s three days a week. Clarke no longer felt comfortable leaving Aden in his school after learning he was victim to a group of bullies. She’d yanked him out immediately, nearly sued, and got him interested in home schooling until she could find a new private school to her liking. Though Lexa highly suspected that AJ would be home schooled until his college years. Clarke was the overprotective, doting type of mother that wanted to protect her young cub from any and all outside dangers.

She plated his breakfast alongside the fruits she’d cut up and took it back to his place at the island. While he jumped down and reclaimed his stool she poured him a glass of orange juice. His stubby little fingers clasped the glass before she could set it down and brought the cup to his lips.

“Thank you.” He said without prompting. She nodded at him, quietly holding in her pride at his good manors. The quiet clank of his fork against the plate told her he was eating his food when she’d turned back around to plate Clarke’s breakfast. Just as she turned to tell AJ she’d be back promptly from bringing breakfast to Clarke she noticed Raven from the corner of her eye.

The woman was—she glanced at the clock—very early yet looked like she had just rolled out of bed. Her long brown hair was pulled into a messy ponytail with flyaway strands pointing in every direction. The long basketball jersey she was sporting definitely clashed with the brown sweatpants hanging low on her hips. Dark rings under her glassy eyes hinted at a lack of sleep. She yawned as she stumbled into the kitchen, nearly tripping over the couple unlaced straps of her leg brace.

“Sorry I'm late,” She mumbled tiredly, dropping her portfolios and laptop bag onto the island beside AJ’s plate, “my alarm didn't go off.”

Aden reached over to link his fingers with Raven’s and smile a good morning to his teacher. Raven returned it one of her own—less bright than usual in her tiredness—and reached over to playfully yank the hood of his onesie over his head. The cloth maw of the dragon settled low over his eyes, cotton teeth resting against his cheek bones. His childish giggles enlivened the room and were soon mixing with Raven’s noisy chortle. Lexa set Clarke’s breakfast down long enough to pour Raven a glass of the French press coffee she’d made earlier and press it into the woman’s hand.

“Your alarm probably didn’t go off because you're an hour early Raven.”

Raven blinked in confusion at the clock for a steady minute and shrugged. She brought the cup to her lips to take an obviously loud sip from her coffee.

“That would explain it. Just in time for breakfast though. This looks good,” she tapped her nail against AJ’s plate, craning her neck unnecessarily to peak at the boy’s food which prompted another bout of giggles,“How about I get one of these?”

Lexa clucked her tongue against her teeth and shook her head, “How about you make your own?”

Raven pressed her palm to her chest with a dramatic gasp, “So rude. You would treat a cripple like that?”

Lexa rolled her eyes but found herself smiling regardless. Their friendship was an odd one that had taken a long month and a half to cultivate from the ashes of barbed insults and glares. From the instant they had met they had hated each other. Raven did everything to grate against Lexa’s every nerve. Likewise Lexa went out of her way to irritate and belittle the woman. It was not until Finn had come round when Clarke was not home and proceeded to attempt seducing Raven that things changed. Raven had just begun working for Clarke therefore was not aware of Finn’s relationship with Clarke. She had been enthusiastically eating up the attention Finn was giving her until Lexa walked in and told Finn that his car had been scratched by one of the gardeners. He’s chased the lie quickly, giving Lexa time to explain Finn’s ways and warn Raven off the man. Since then they had found a way to get along and were—dare she even think it—very good friends.

“That may have worked the first time Raven, but not a second. AJ, show Miss Raven how to properly cook while I take your mother her breakfast. Remember, she _loves_ olives.” Lexa gathered Clarke’s plate in one hand and a mug of steaming coffee in the other, smiling as she heard Raven snort. She hated olives and Lexa knew it. Raven’s cackle followed her up the stairs, far away from the kitchen, that lead to Clarke’s room.

It was in the furthest corner of the second story, easily missed unless you were looking for it. The door was cracked from when Lexa poked her head in earlier on her way to wake AJ for breakfast, making it easy for her to enter with full hands. The room inside was dark thanks to the lights still off and the blackout curtains pulled closed but Lexa was familiar enough with the room to move about. She didn't trip on the small step to the landing Clarke’s king size bed sat upon, center most in the room. Clarke’s breakfast was set on the trunk at the foot of the bed so she'd have free hands to yank open the curtains. Bright sunlight filtered in to warm Clarke’s sleep soft features and turn her hair into a golden fire against the maroon color of her silky sheets. Clarke herself squeezed her eyes tighter shut and slipped beneath the heavy duvet covering her to escape the sun. She let out a loud groan that barely masked her curses. Lexa twisted her fingers into the duvet with a smile and pulled it down, revealing Clarke underneath in naught but a white tank top and her boy shorts.

“Lexa I swear to god I will fire you.” Clarke’s husked out in her sleepy voice and clawed at the bed without opening her eyes for her blankets. Lexa shook her head fondly.

“Even though I brought you breakfast?”

Clarke peeked one of her eyes open, “And coffee?”

Lexa set the mug on the plate with Clarke’s food and came around to sit on the edge of the bed. She picked up one of the strawberries by the stem and pressed it between two of Clarke’s fingers.

“And coffee.” She promised in a sweet voice. Clarke blinked open her eyes against the onslaught of the sunshine. Yawning, she slithered up to prop her shoulders against the headboard and bit into the fruit. She hummed happily at the burst of fresh flavor splashing across her sleep thick tongue. Lexa watched with a happy smile and handed the coffee over once Clarke had finished the strawberry.

“Thank you Lexa.” Clarke smiled that big, dopey smile of hers that only appeared this early in the mornings and completely wrecked Lexa each and every time. She cleared her throat of the sudden emotions clawing their way up her throat and turned her head towards the dressers across the room. Anywhere but that the look on her boss's face. Clarke’s dress from the night before was strung across a still open drawer, barely brushing her heels carelessly tossed on the floor. There was a dark red stain all along the left side of the dress, soiling the cream colored fabric. She made a quick note to call Clarke’s dry cleaner later for that particular dress as it would be in desperate need of a cleansing now.

“I'm sorry about last night Lex. I hope you didn't stay up to late waiting.” Lexa drew her gaze back to Clarke’s sleepy face. The beautiful blond was sipping at her black coffee slowly as to not burn herself.

“That’s alright. Did you have a nice night?” Silently Lexa begged Clarke not to divulge any of the gruesome details. Obviously she’d been out very late with Finn which could mean only one thing. Or at least that's what she assumed but the instant pinch of Clarke’s face and darkness in her eyes said something different. She sighed and reached over to set her coffee on her nightstand. She stretched her legs out beneath the sheets before curling one towards herself and reaching down to rub the arch of her foot. Lexa noted with an urgent displeasure the angry red welts dotting the pale flesh of her feet, some to large to start scabbing over as the little ones had.

“No,” Clarke spoke lowly, voice devoid of her previous cheeriness, “I did not.”

Without thinking Lexa reached for Clarke’s battered foot to inspect it for further damage. Most the damage ran along the side of her feet and the bridge just below her toes. Another rather nasty looking blister covered most of her big toe and two of the smaller toes beside it. All along the heel of the foot and onto the bridge the skin had been scrapped raw, like road rash, that had bits of gravel still clinging to it. Lexa frowned and rubbed her thumb across the unblemished arch of her foot. Gently she hooked her long fingers under Clarke’s knee to pull the opposite foot from under the covers and, sure enough, this foot was damaged as well.

“Clarke…” Lexa took pause there. It wasn't really her place to question her boss on her nights even when she came home like this. But the worry in her belly wouldn't be ignored. She twitched her jaw back and forth thoughtfully before getting up from the bed without a word. To the left of Clarke’s bed, near the glass sliding doors that led to the balcony outside, was the door to Clarke’s master bathroom. She had to rifle around for Neosporin, peroxide, some cotton balls, and some band aids since Clarke kept most of the first aid supplies in the main bathroom by AJ’s room.

“Lex? What are you doing?” Clarke’s disembodied voice reached her in the bathroom, sounding odd because of a mouthful of food. She emerged with her hard won medicine and retook her space on Clarke’s bed. Clarke eyed the items clutched protectively to Lexa’s breast with an amused twinkle in her eye.

“You don't need to do that. I was considering dragging my lazy ass into the shower.”

Lexa ignored her and gently took Clarke’s feet into her lap so she could apply the medicine to each wound and put an Avengers band-aid over the open blisters and the ones yet to be broken. Clarke wiggled her toes playfully to hinder the process just to garner an agitated reaction from Lexa. Twice Lexa reached higher to pinch her muscular thigh as reprimand which earned her a snort or a chuckle.

Without lifting her eyes from Clarke’s battered feet she asked, “What happened?”

Clarke hummed around her mouth full of loaded omelet, “Finn and I—” she paused to swallow and wash down her large bite with a swig of coffee, “Finn and I had a huge fight in the car after the party. He was upset and hurt and confused that I had rejected his proposal earlier in front of his whole family. He was yelling and I was yelling and he refused to take me home so we could talk it through. I insisted he take me home and he said something like, ‘the only way you are going home tonight is if you walk’ so I made him pull over and let me out. Turns out Jimmy Choo's are not kind on the feet after a couple of miles and pavement is even less kind to bare feet.”

Lexa jerked her head up, lips pursed, and gaze intense, “Why didn't you call me to come get you?”

Clarke nudged her stomach with her toe and smiled sweetly, “It was near midnight and I didn't want you to have the decition to either wake AJ up or leave him home alone to come get me.”

“Clarke you could have been hurt or killed. Dangerous people walk around at night. What you did was foolish and next time you call me. I don't care how late it is. Okay?”

Clarke nodded with a small smirk and sparkling eyes. She remained silent for some time save the sound of her chewing and the soft clink of her fork against the plate. Lexa took the time to finish cleaning and tending to Clarke’s feet and returning all the products to the bathroom. When she came back out she busied herself with folding Clarke’s wine stained dress and pulling out a folded pair of jeans for Clarke to put on when she was ready to get out of bed. She was deciding on a shirt she felt Clarke would like when the woman finally spoke again.

“For the record you probably won't have to worry about something like this happening again. Im pretty sure he broke up with me before I got out of the car.”

Lexa had to contain the flurry of emotions running wild beneath her skin from showing on her face. Joy and hope were at the forefront of the storm which, of course, brought forth great guilt. She sucked in a calming breath before turning to face a relaxed and seemingly fine Clarke lazing in her bed and sipping the last few drinks of her coffee.

“I'm sorry to hear that Clarke,” she wasn't, she wasn't sorry to hear it at all, “Are you alright?”

She shrugged her shoulder, staring down into her coffee cup instead of making eye contact with Lexa, “It was a long time coming in all honesty. I was to mad last night to really be upset and I'm not sure how I feel today. I don't really wanna think about it. In a bit I'm gonna go finish that piece in my studio that needs to be at the exhibit tomorrow. By the time I'm done AJ should be finished for the day and I'm just going to spend the day with my son. I’ve been so busy this week and I wanna just put all my energy into being with him.”

Lexa nodded thoughtfully, “He will love that.”

Clarke finally lifted her beautiful eyes to meet Lexa’s steady gaze, “Did you ever find out what was bothering him yesterday?”

Lexa bit her lip and tilted her head in a shallow nod.

It had been hard to pull the truth out of a very unwilling AJ last night. At every turn he found something else to capture his attention so he would not have to look at his nanny and engage in what she was trying to say. Eventually she had to sit him down with his hands in hers and look him directly in the eye. He told her about how a week or so ago his grandmother came over to visit and Finn showed up too. They were speaking on the deck outside when AJ walked past and heard their conversation. Abby was venting her concerns about Clarke not listening to her about AJ and Finn was agreeing at every word. When the topic of the way he dressed himself came up, AJ claimed that Finn had a lot to say. He had put Lexa in the awkward position of explaining what a few of the derogatory slang words Finn had used meant. AJ said that it reminded him of all his bullies at his old school that would chase him around and push him about. But, he had said, that wasn't what had upset him the most. AJ said Finn started talking about Lexa and how poorly she was doing at her job as his nanny and how Finn was going to talk to Clarke about having her fired. ‘Besides, I'm uncomfortable with the fact that Lexa is constantly breathing down Clarke’s neck. No employee should be that interested in her boss’ AJ paraphrased. He had asked that Lexa explain what that meant and, reluctantly, she had to explain to him that Finn believed Lexa harbored romantic feelings for her boss. Never had she seen AJ get more excited for something.

For a long time AJ had been trying to convince Lexa to marry his mother so they could just be a family already. Lexa had tried and tried and tried to explain to AJ that things didn't exactly work that way but he remained convinced. Lexa would marry Clarke and they could be a family and his two favorite teachers would come for supper every night. Lexa had been careful to hide this from Clarke as well as all the family photos he had drawn during the art portion of his classes with Raven. Much to Raven’s delight. She too had jumped on the wagon with AJ and had begun giving her advice both PG and Explicit on how to win the girl. Lexa felt the strong urge to roll her eyes just recalling all the friendly chats Raven had forced on her.

“Well? You gonna tell me?” Clarke asked with a raise of her brow and a slight smirk. Lexa sighed with a nod and came back to sit on the bed.

“AJ heard your mother and Finn discussing his wardrobe. Your mother was expressing her concern about people getting the wrong idea and it’s direct correlation to his being bullied at school. Finn then used some very strong language to express his version of concern I assume. He used derogative words that upset AJ.”

A dark color seeped into the light blue of Clarke’s eyes, burning the pretty color to a cold furious shade. The fingers wrapped round her cup pressed against the ceramic so harshly her knuckles began to whiten. She worked her jaw back and forth while she processed.

“What did he call my son Lexa?” Clarke’s tone was dark and razor sharp.

“He didn't specifically call AJ anything. He simply implied that this is what people perceived AJ as or to be because of how you allow him to express himself.”

Clarke’s smoldering glare cut to Lexa and burned against her face until Lexa couldn't hardly stand to hold eye contact. Her pink lips parted in a mean sneer.

“There is nothing wrong with how AJ dresses! There is nothing wrong with my son. I'm not a bad mother because I let my kid wear what ever he feels most comfortable in. I'm so sick of people fucking coming at me about this shit!”

Lexa swallowed the pride and admiration down. Clarke’s fierce loyalty to AJ never failed to evoke this well of emotions inside her.

“I know,” Lexa reached across the bed to rest her hand over Clarke’s who immediately turned her palm over so their fingers could tangle, “I wasn't saying you are a bad mother Clarke. I was merely relaying all that I was told. I don't think Finn meant anything by it. He has always been eager to agree with your mother if it meant he landed in her good graces. And your mother is coming from a good place. She just isn't good at worrying.”

Clarke sighed and some of the tension in the room melted away, thankfully. The hard glare softened to naught and she slumped back against her mountain of pillows. Gently she tugged at Lexa’s hand in a silent invitation to come closer. Lexa followed after a second of hesitation and propped herself against the pillows beside Clarke.

“I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm just sick of this contentiously coming up. Why does everyone think it's important to assume or judge my son’s sexuality based on his clothes when all he cares about right now is dragons and cars? So what if he does turn out to be gay? Why does it fucking matter? If he brings home a girl or a boy, I'm still going to hate them and not think they are good enough for my little prince.” Clarke growled lowly. Lexa smiled proudly and bumped her shoulder against Clarke’s. The blond tilted her head up to give Lexa a questioning look.

“I wish I'd had a mother like you when I came out to my parents.”

Clarke smiled but it was an apologetic kind of smile, “They didn't take it well?”

Lexa shook her head with a somber laugh, “Understatement.”

“I'm sorry.” Clarke offered with a soft sincerity. She let go of Lexa’s hand to wrap her arms around the slightly taller woman, hugging her close and tight against her chest. Warmth blossomed beneath Lexa’s ribs and spread throughout her body rapidly. Clarke was always doing this. Hugging her so wonderful tight and leaving Lexa a jumbled mess of a person who doesn't know how to respond in kind. The heart in her chest was running a race, pumping blood rapidly through her trembling arms and legs. Gently she lifted a hand to press against Clarke’s back—light, ever so lightly—and allowed herself no more than this. She could never indulge in such a lovely act when her body longed for this closeness in another way that was far less friendly than Clarke intended.

“Oh my gosh.” Both woman whipped their heads towards the doorway where AJ stood. His hair was sopping wet—not properly dried without Lexa there to rub a towel against his head—and dripping down his bare chest. At least he had his underwear on and a pair of neon yellow socks. His eyes were blown wide with excitement and he looked like he may rattle out of his skin.

Lexa stomach sank. She _knew_ he was getting the wrong idea.

“AJ, _no_.” She told him in a low, no nonsense tone. He paid her no mind. He hopped from foot to foot excitedly, his tiny clenched fist shaking to and fro on his front him.

“Yes! This is good! This is really good! I'm comin’ in!” Clarke exploded with laughter when her son ripped from the doorway to jump onto her bed and, subsequently, their knees. The sound mixed well with AJ’s own happy giggles. Lexa folded her arms and shook her head, refusing to take part in this silliness. The boy flung himself at his mother, long gangly arms wrapping tightly around her shoulders, and pushing her into her back. Water droplets from his hair flew everywhere including all over Lexa’s face and in her eye.

“Good morning to you too!” Clarke’s voice was muffled by the small body wrapped around her face and full of mirth. Her hands came round his little back to hug him fiercely in that _Clarke way_ Lexa was so familiar with.

“This is so good Mama! You did so good!” AJ was trying to simulate the tone of voice Clarke used when giving him praise for a job well done. Were this another situation at another time Lexa would have found it cute. However this was AJ getting excited about something that was not real and would never be. She set her jaw firmly and slipped from the bed to quietly collect Clarke’s wine stained dress.

“I will see to this being dry cleaned and get the study set up for AJ’s classes.” She informed the mother and son before she slipped from the room. Outside in the hall she sank against the wall with a trembling heart, drinking in the sound of their laughter filtering through the doorway, and tried to squash the strong longing in her soul. To no avail.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed it. I will attempt to update quickly but no promises.


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